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  #11  
Old 06-17-2009, 02:28 PM
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Originally Posted by MrQ1701 View Post
I am going to tread lightly because of the age of Spockthecool.

So you have NEVER had a romantic relationship? I'm not sure reproducing is always the intended goal!
Nah, just the method.....

Anyway, in my own experience, a good deal of folks are, whether they'd admit it or not, superficial on some level; they'll make a judgement on the first glance, or word, or what have you.
I purposely avoid these types, and do my best to root out the more genuine and sincere of the species.
The rest are just a waste of my time.
Don't try so hard to earn that acceptance of your peers if they can't see past first glances and looks; because if that's all they see, they're isn't much to them as people in the first place, is there?
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  #12  
Old 06-17-2009, 02:34 PM
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I always fall in love with good and close friends. Which destroys the friendships and takes not only the friends, but the loved ones from me.
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  #13  
Old 06-17-2009, 02:37 PM
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I always fall in love with good and close friends. Which destroys the friendships and takes not only the friends, but the loved ones from me.
GAH!
First rule of dating: Never date close friends!
Always date outside the friend circle; that way, you also have potential new friends on the other person's side to meet as well.
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  #14  
Old 06-17-2009, 02:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Vincent Cain View Post
Nah, just the method.....
VERY true!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vincent Cain View Post
Anyway, in my own experience, a good deal of folks are, whether they'd admit it or not, superficial on some level; they'll make a judgement on the first glance, or word, or what have you.
I purposely avoid these types, and do my best to root out the more genuine and sincere of the species.
The rest are just a waste of my time.
Don't try so hard to earn that acceptance of your peers if they can't see past first glances and looks; because if that's all they see, they're isn't much to them as people in the first place, is there?
I will admit, if I were in setting with many people, a party or bar for instance, and a complete stranger came up to me and asked for my number, then the MAJOR driving factor in my decision would be whether or not I found her attractive. I don't find that shallow since I have NOTHING else to go on. I believe that is why those kinds of settings are usually only good for the short term relationships. Looks can only take a relationship so far.

I am hoping Spokthecool can make friends in a setting that is more based on common interests. That way people will get to know her. You are correct that people that can't get past first glances are a waste of time, unfortunately I have found many young people are attracted to somebody, say the football quarterback, and then they actively pursue that person. When they are shot down they take it very hard. In a way they only set themselves up for failure. I have known many good young ladies, that have had their hearts broken by the attractive popular guys in school. I was never considered popular, but I wasn't thought of as ugly (I think), anyway... I was shot down by girls because they had their heads in the clouds and were more worried about the popular guys. I think it is partially has to do with the "bad boy" syndrome.
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Last edited by MrQ1701 : 06-17-2009 at 02:48 PM.
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  #15  
Old 06-17-2009, 02:45 PM
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I always fall in love with good and close friends. Which destroys the friendships and takes not only the friends, but the loved ones from me.
You only have yourself to blame for this. If you find yourself in a new group of people, and you are attracted to one of them, you should let that attraction be known BEFORE you fall into "friend" mode. That way she knows how you feel and if your friendship survives, the awkward part is already over.

I will admit that I have fallen for someone that I initially was NOT attracted to. We were coworkers. Our office started to go out after work in a large group. From there a few of us started to hang out on weekends. From there she and I started to go out with each other. After a while things turned more romantic. So I can't say it is entirely a bad thing to "fall" for someone considered a friend prior to trying to engage in a romantic relationship. In my case, she let HER feelings be known to me.
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  #16  
Old 06-17-2009, 02:58 PM
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Look,wasn't popular as a kid. Everybody disliked me intensely. Stay yourself, if soemone cannot like you for who you really are, then they don't know you.

Trying to change yoruself to fit in, or impress someone is doomed to fail. No one can kep up a fasde forever.
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  #17  
Old 06-17-2009, 03:15 PM
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spokthecool, I'm gonna tell you the truth: high school sucks, it is about the worst part of your life for 80% of the people there. I was also a loser/dramarama/outcast who didn't fit in and NEVER had a date pretty much the whole time. Then I went to college and it ROCKED. I learned things that blew my mind and met people who were so much more open-minded than the ones in my tiny home town. Cut to 20 yrs later, I'm married to a cool guy, with a great kid, in a glamorous industry, making wads of cash.

Focus on your schooling so you can get the hell out of that town. I've read a lot of your posts, and you seem like a really soulful, good-hearted person. I know there are better things out there for you if you stay true to yourself and keep your eyes on the long-view, not just the latest misery of today. Live long & prosper, baby.
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  #18  
Old 06-17-2009, 03:18 PM
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Great advice, T'Pau!
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  #19  
Old 06-17-2009, 03:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrQ1701 View Post
I think it is partially has to do with the "bad boy" syndrome.
Oh.....I no wonder I was such a s**t then. O.o
I was no quarterback....I was the dark freaky one that punched out the quarterback in front of their girlfriends.
I was such an evil prat then.
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  #20  
Old 06-17-2009, 04:13 PM
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Oh.....I no wonder I was such a s**t then. O.o
I was no quarterback....I was the dark freaky one that punched out the quarterback in front of their girlfriends.
I was such an evil prat then.
I guess what I was trying to say is that I knew a lot of girls that all liked the same handful of guys. Since these guys had girls all over them they treated them like crap. Usually the girls they dated were the little cheerleader hottie type, so the average girl stood NO chance with the guy, yet they tried anyway and were CRUSHED when he blew them off.

Maybe that's NOT exactly the "bad boy" syndrome, but it is like it.
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