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  #21  
Old 06-14-2009, 07:09 AM
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Why do some girls/guys give you their numbers only to ignore you in the long run? In my case, I'm talking about girls, but I don't want to sound sexist or offensive to anyone on here, because all of you are awesome and if it wasn't for this site, I wouldn't know what I would do! But yeah, I wonder why that is. I mean, I got a number from one girl at my school because we met and had a really good conversation, yet when I texted her the next day and even called her, she didn't reply.

Why not just give a fake number or something? I mean, it's kind of weird. But I guess everyone has their reasons and I guess that if I did shee that person again, it would be akward for them if I asked, "Hey, you never gave me your real number." But, rather then telling them that, I would assume already that they just didn't want to hurt my feelings. But, I mean when people are straightforward things can be so much easier! But, I guess life wouldn't be worth living in that case, haha!
Sounds like typical female behaviour (hope this does not sound sexist now). Just try to put your empathical sensors on maximum next time, then you might find out whether she really found the conversation so good or not. Words like "no" or "I don't like you" appear more often in the non-verbal subtext, that's the "language" you gotta learn.
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  #22  
Old 06-14-2009, 07:26 AM
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No excuse, of course. Dames is poison! Quark baby, if I were 20 years younger and lived in Cali, I'd give you my cellphone #...
You're so sweet! :] Thanks jerhanner!
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  #23  
Old 06-14-2009, 07:36 AM
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Originally Posted by horatio View Post
Sounds like typical female behaviour (hope this does not sound sexist now).
I know what you mean, you are talking from the male perspective, forgetting how often you may have promised to give someone a call and then never did it. Well, at least I did these things. The former co-worker from a pastime job, you meet him in a super market, you allways enjoyed working with him, he now asks you what you are doing, you chat a little, he says the both of you should have a beer together... you are considering it. I mean, you liked the guy, so you exchange numbers... and then you never call him back.

The same with girls. I too have exchanged phone numbers with bar flirts. I was drunk, I enjoyed talking with her for hours about the meaning of life and everything. But when you are a little drunk then you can have great chats with almost anybody, really. So we exchange phone numbers and the next day you realize that she was nice, you had a good evening, but thats about it.

Now, of course I could have been fair with these people. I could have told to the former co-worker how I felt, that he is a nice guy, but that we will never have a firendship and that chatting for ten minutes is something else then drinking a beer together and talking for two hours. I could have told him: "Hey, you know, I think you are funny for ten minutes, but I am bored by you pretty fast. I dont think the two of us could fill two hours with meaningfull entertaining conversation."
Yeah, that would definetly have helped him.

The same with the bar flirts: "You know, I enjoyed to talk to you, but I guess we would go onto eachothers nerves after perhaps half a day and get silent."

So, it all depends on one question: How much time do you estimate could you spend with this person in one room without geting bored.
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  #24  
Old 06-14-2009, 07:56 AM
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Well, I don't like to be blunt and tell someone straight in the face that I do not like her or him, but there is a difference between having a good time with someone, exchanging numbers but not calling afterwards and not having a good time with someone yet still exchanging numbers just to be polite.
Sympathy is a mutual thing and if you carefully listen and observe, you should usually realize whether the person you just met and talk to really likes you too or not.

The co-worker example is really great, having some fun in a boring job with someone is always partly caused by the boring job, not entirely by sympathy. That's why it does not necessarily work outside of the job.
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  #25  
Old 06-14-2009, 08:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Quark View Post
You're so sweet! :] Thanks jerhanner!
Quark, keep trying man. Don't give up. Honesty there is someone for everybody, I didn't belive it until it happened to me.
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  #26  
Old 06-14-2009, 08:03 AM
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Well, I don't like to be blunt and tell someone straight in the face that I do not like her or him, but there is a difference between having a good time with someone, exchanging numbers but not calling afterwards and not having a good time with someone yet still exchanging numbers just to be polite.
Sympathy is a mutual thing and if you carefully listen and observe, you should usually realize whether the person you just met and talk to really likes you too or not.
Yeah, but thats what I mean with the bar flirts I never called. I did like them, I mean you dont get to the point of exchanging numbers without some form of mutual sympathy. But feelings are allways a temporary thing. Because feelings are temporary, thats why our society makes such a big fuzz about eternal feelings, life long friendship, love. We make movies about it, write books about it, the whole music industry sometimes appears like a huge "propaganda mashine" for keeping the belief in eternal feelings alive. We would not put so much efforts into praizing lasting emotions if lasting emotions would be the norm. They are not. Usually we really like something one day and then completely forgett about it another day.

It allways sucks to be the one being forgotten though. Happens to the bees and the birds.
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  #27  
Old 06-14-2009, 08:10 AM
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Yeah, that romantic love ideal which seems to be a fairly new human invention, at best a few centuries old, leads to this all or nothing attitude. I have grown to prefer a try and error approach. Have some fun and a good time, try to be there for each other if it seems to work but don't use the three words when it would be hypocritical. The honest version does not sound so romantic: Do you love me? Yes, so far.
Many friendships and relationships are just temporary and a live-long friend or partner is rare. Even rarer if you try to force it having that romantic ideal in your head.
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  #28  
Old 06-14-2009, 01:32 PM
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True. People can just jump into things and get all excited, only to realize that they don't even know this person they just met and need to know more and slow down before jumping to conclusions. Posititive first impressions are good, but they are only first impressions.
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  #29  
Old 06-14-2009, 01:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Botany Bay
But feelings are allways a temporary thing. Because feelings are temporary, thats why our society makes such a big fuzz about eternal feelings, life long friendship, love.
That are the sentences that make me feel not human, anything is working different in my brain.

I don't let many people get close. I mean there are a lot of people you meet, you have nice trivial chats with here and there, but only few people I actually would call a friend or more and I spend a lot of time with. But those who I liked, i like and probably will like. Even people I lost contact with I still like, as long as I lost contact in peace. Deep emotions aren't given to many, but when they are it's not temporary.
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Last edited by TheTrekkie : 06-14-2009 at 01:50 PM.
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  #30  
Old 06-14-2009, 02:58 PM
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True. People can just jump into things and get all excited, only to realize that they don't even know this person they just met and need to know more and slow down before jumping to conclusions. Posititive first impressions are good, but they are only first impressions.
But when you do find that rare true love, a lifetime love, hang onto it, and NEVER take it for granted.
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