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  #1  
Old 04-21-2009, 11:22 PM
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Default How To Rite Gud

How to rite gud
Take a simple statement
'It was hot, so we quit.'

Generalize. Put in the passive voice
'Owing to adverse environmental conditions, it was decided to cease work.'

Rephrase in more words
'Owing to environmental conditions being of an adverse nature, it was decided to temporarily suspend project support processes.'

Equivocate. Hide key concepts
'Owing to localized environmental conditions being reportedly of an adverse nature, it was proposed, and accepted, that project support processes be temporarily suspended indefinitely, subject to review of the conditions contributing to the aforesaid proposal.'

Cover your tracks. Make yourself look good
'Owing to localized environmental conditions being reportedly of an adverse nature, it was proposed and, after evaluation of alternatives and debate about the business impact, it was accepted, that specified project support processes should be temporarily suspended on an indefinite basis, subject to review of the conditions contributing to the aforesaid proposal yielding an outcome which would indicate that resumption of said processes would not be generally considered to be inconsistent with maintaining an optimal balance between notional work-output metrics and appropriate attention to occupational health and safety considerations related to well-being and performance of employees in environmental conditions of substandard airflow, temperature and/or humidity control.'
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Old 04-22-2009, 06:52 AM
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You, sir/madam, are going to be one hell of a lawyer.
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Old 04-22-2009, 06:25 PM
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I am confused!!
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Old 04-22-2009, 08:29 PM
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I LOVE it... that sir/madame is one hellofa writing
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Old 04-22-2009, 11:26 PM
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After reading that, my brain is hot, and it wants to quit.
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Old 04-22-2009, 11:58 PM
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This should be re-titled: How to write P.C.
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Old 04-23-2009, 07:29 AM
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Thats funny I dont care who you are.


That post was quite humorous, regardless of whom was reading.


Because when ever someone read that post they laughed; it was hencforth considered to be funny.
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Old 04-23-2009, 11:14 AM
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Well, when I talk I usually end up with statements similar in execution to those outlined in the second, third or fourth examples. Depending upon whether or not I am tired: the more tired I am, the more likely it may be that start speaking in a long-winded, complicated, arduous and tiresome manner.

I am not very tired at the moment.
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Old 04-23-2009, 11:39 AM
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An even simpler statement: F**k it!
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Old 04-23-2009, 05:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Samuel View Post
An even simpler statement: F**k it!
Becuase we did not care, we told them to **** it!

due to the dreadfully dull nature of the conversation, we felt the need to express our frustration by informing them to **** it!

while reading we became overwhelmed by the dreadfully dull nature of the topics being discussed, we felt the desire and need to express our frustration by informing them that they should **** it!
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