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Old 11-09-2008, 03:00 AM
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Default Bachelor cooking.

So tonight, I got hungry. Being just on the south side of broke, I looked through my cupboards and found the following:

2 boxes of Rice-A-Roni
1 can of mixed green beans and potatoes.

So I opened one of the boxes of RA(w)R, put some forgotten-about margarine in a skillet and sauteed the rice stuff until browned, like it says to do on the box. Then I dumped that into a pot, added water.

Too much water.

Let the water boil off, stirring constantly while smoking. Eventually forgot what I was supposedly doing, which is why the water boiled off almost completely. Barely caught it in time to add the seasoning mix. Stirred vigorously for another 45 minutes because I was still smoking. (No, I didn't pay for what I was smoking, some idiot left the stuff in my apartment, said idiot never being welcome to return.)

So then I had this hot, gluey brown stuff that I wasn't sure was edible -- of course, having been smoking for a bit, I had a really hearty appetite and not much judgement left, so it really didn't matter much to me whether a mountain goat would've gagged at it, I was going to eat it regardless.

But, in a very conscious nod to making a pretense at being a semi-civilized being, I thought I'd better add the green beans and potatoes anyway. So drained the weird green-bean-and-potato juice out of the can first, at least (c'mon, that stuff can't POSSIBLY be anything but icky) and dumped 'em in. Turned off the heat on the stove, walked over to the futon and promptly took a six hour nap.

Woke up un-smoked but now ragingly hungry and walked over to the stove with the vague suspicion that I might've cooked something. Took a bite. Huh... whaddya know?

I cook better when I've been smoking. *shrugs* I named the dish, "Hot Crap."
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Old 11-09-2008, 09:16 AM
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Great story. Kitchen experimentation is a crap-shoot at best. The odds against coming up with something palatable are enormous. But I did it a couple of times as well. After one hunting season, a friend of mine gave me a bunch of venison. Part of the venison was ground and I had no idea what to do with it. So i spread the ground venison in the bottom of a big square butter coated pyrex dish and poured picante sauce over the top until the meat was completely covered, and baked it. When it came out, it tasted better than any Swiss steak i ever had. It was absolutely the best thing i ever did with wild game.
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Old 11-09-2008, 09:20 AM
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Get yourself a woman.

A man needs good food.
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Old 11-09-2008, 09:46 AM
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LOL

No they aren't.
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Old 11-09-2008, 10:23 AM
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All women have a nesting instinct. They like to take care of their men and home.

My feeling is....why fight against nature?

Just bring them some flowers now and then, you'll have a nice dinner every night and a clean house!
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Old 11-09-2008, 10:52 AM
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Um... HRH, I'm a trained and collared male slave whose Mistress lives about a thousand miles away (for the moment.) I'm not going to look for anyone else.

Although, to head off a possible objection: my Mistress also loves to cook and is very, VERY good at it. I do go and stay with her from time to time. Much more than that is too personal and too complicated for the board at large.
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Old 11-09-2008, 02:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Saint View Post
Um... HRH, I'm a trained and collared male slave whose Mistress lives about a thousand miles away (for the moment.) I'm not going to look for anyone else.

Although, to head off a possible objection: my Mistress also loves to cook and is very, VERY good at it. I do go and stay with her from time to time. Much more than that is too personal and too complicated for the board at large.
Oh hell, I'll just PM you to spare the mods.
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Old 11-09-2008, 08:38 PM
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If anyone tried to collar and train me, I'd bite them and run like hell while they were still wondering what hit them.
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Last edited by MonsieurHood : 11-09-2008 at 09:01 PM.
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