[kukalakana]

Something I just gotta get off my chest.

Okay so one night last week I got drunk and was sick as a result. (Which was bad of me although thinking about it I think I might have been a little sick to start with and no sleep and all... I'm usually better at handling alcohol and didn't drink that much.)

And everyone was pretty much ok except for this one girl who went off at me and now she's not talking to me, or something. Not that I particularly care for her good opinion. Not particularly. But I wouldn't mind knowing what the hell makes her so perfect that she can judge me for one mistake.

I figure that yes I was a dick and yes I did deserve to be punished. But I've been punished already many times over, and there has to be a place where punishment ends and life resumes, doesn't there? It was only one time and not to mention although this doesn't excuse anything there were extenuating circumstances.

I guess I'm just tired of people thinking they're so superior that they can judge me for a once off transgression. And sick of them acting like I'm supposed to be so perfect and looking over my shoulder all the time. Whereas everyone else can make mistakes!!

Anyway. Thanx in advance for not flaming me for this little rant. And again, please excuse me I did just need to get this off my chest. (But I suppose if snubbing me helps with other's little superiority complexes, then good luck to 'em...)

[MonsieurHood]

Originally Posted by kukalakana

Something I just gotta get off my chest.

Okay so one night last week I got drunk and was sick as a result. (Which was bad of me although thinking about it I think I might have been a little sick to start with and no sleep and all... I'm usually better at handling alcohol and didn't drink that much.)

And everyone was pretty much ok except for this one girl who went off at me and now she's not talking to me, or something. Not that I particularly care for her good opinion. Not particularly. But I wouldn't mind knowing what the hell makes her so perfect that she can judge me for one mistake.

I figure that yes I was a dick and yes I did deserve to be punished. But I've been punished already many times over, and there has to be a place where punishment ends and life resumes, doesn't there? It was only one time and not to mention although this doesn't excuse anything there were extenuating circumstances.

I guess I'm just tired of people thinking they're so superior that they can judge me for a once off transgression. And sick of them acting like I'm supposed to be so perfect and looking over my shoulder all the time. Whereas everyone else can make mistakes!!

Anyway. Thanx in advance for not flaming me for this little rant. And again, please excuse me I did just need to get this off my chest. (But I suppose if snubbing me helps with other's little superiority complexes, then good luck to 'em...)

Nobody's perfect K. Everyone messes up. I feel your pain, i've been where you've been, and you're right that nobody has a right to judge you, because we're all screw ups. But it's perfectly o.k. for a friend to let you know that you did screw up, and it isn't necessarily something you should be so very pissed at them for. Because one day the shoe will doubtless end up on the other foot. And it also means they probably give a crap about you, which would be a good thing. However, if this was just some stranger letting you have it with both barrels with some holier-than-thou attitude, then they can pretty much smootch on your posterior. Have a happy!

[kevin]

First, If you wrote all that you must care about her opinion in some (maybe even very small) way, because if you really didn't care it wouldn't have upset you enough to post this.

There are always people who think they are better than others, but believe me, everyone has their own flaws and secrets they want kept. Hood is right, some day she will be in such a position herself because things like that happen to us all at least once (even if not drink, then something else).

If you truly don't care about her opinion then leave her to it, or ask her why she got so angry at you in particular - Hood is also right, perhaps it's because she cares about you.

Either way, let others think what they like, because there is no-one who has the moral high ground. No-one!! You've learned a lesson about drinking and that's more important.

[Tiberius1964]

Hey, K.

In the interests of inter-stellar amity and all that...

Not knowing anything about the individual in question, there could be any number of reasons she's ticked off at you. Probably the most facile explanation is that she's had someone important to her - father, uncle, boyfriend - who was a drunk and maybe abusive.

As I said, it's a facile explanation, if only because it is depressingly common.

I'd say that you have to choose - do you want this person as a friend or not? If not, let it go (I know, easier said than done). As long as she doesn't try to poison your relationships with anyone else, what she does is not important.

But if you do want her as a friend, then you should try to talk to her; accept responsibility for your actions; but, she must accept responsibility for hers (say I'm right; then it is her problem that she relates your actions to those of the drunken possibly abusive male in her past).

But that's just my humble opinion. And, it may not work in any case.

Good luck!

[jerhanner]

If she is someone whose opinion of you matters, then you should care. If her opinion of you doesn't matter, then who cares? Life is too short to try and figure out other people's baggage.

[vuedoc]

This person might not have known of another way to express herself at the time and maybe she is concerned about your behaviour for your sake. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt but in the end, if she is perfectly happy to end whatever relationship you had over this, then it's probably not worth losing any sleep over the matter as you've probably just jettisoned some baggage. If she should come around, then this is your opportunity to find out why she reacted the way she did. My freshman roomate realy gave it to me for a similar situation but we wound up living together for the next 3 years.

[Elizadolots]

I gotta ask....is it possible that you did something when you were drunk you don't remember that has her in a snit? I know...you don't remember....but I've been there, so I know that happens...if she reminds you of it, you probably will remember it...

If it were me, I'd ask her. I'd say "I was f'd up drunk that night...I really hope I didn't say or do anything to make you hate me"....I think you need to hear why she's so amped...

It's also possible that she just has issues with drunk people...some do. Some people have had really bad experiences with drunk adults when they were kids and so can't bear to be around a drunk person and hold that image in their heads when they see someone who's drunk.

I think approaching her with the idea that you might have done something bad would let her offer up that it's not you, it's what happened when she's a child....that might be a step in healing for her. (if that's the problem)

[kukalakana]

Originally Posted by Elizadolots

I gotta ask....is it possible that you did something when you were drunk you don't remember that has her in a snit? I know...you don't remember....but I've been there, so I know that happens...if she reminds you of it, you probably will remember it...

Always possible. But not this time. I pretty much remember the whole night. Mostly because I actually didn't drink that much but was probably a little sick to begin with and didn't know, and hadn't been getting enough sleep since April... or something...

I guess at the time I posted this first post, I was just more than a little sick of being the one who never gets away with making mistakes.

(My interpretation at present is that she is just someone with a "holier than thou" attitude.) I've decided it doesn't matter, although it does make me a little more uncertain of how to react to other people still laughing at me a bit. (in a good-natured sort of way.)

haha... oh well. y'win some, y'lose some. "She'll be right".

[Zardoz]

Originally Posted by kukalakana

Always possible. But not this time. I pretty much remember the whole night. Mostly because I actually didn't drink that much but was probably a little sick to begin with and didn't know, and hadn't been getting enough sleep since April... or something...

I guess at the time I posted this first post, I was just more than a little sick of being the one who never gets away with making mistakes.

(My interpretation at present is that she is just someone with a "holier than thou" attitude.) I've decided it doesn't matter, although it does make me a little more uncertain of how to react to other people still laughing at me a bit. (in a good-natured sort of way.)

haha... oh well. y'win some, y'lose some. "She'll be right".

Well just ask her and find out.

[Don Farnsworth]

You're a jerk!