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Old 01-11-2010, 02:39 PM
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Default For a laugh--my horrible idea for the opening moments of ST XII

Hey, folks,

I'd already sent this to Saquist to get his reaction on it. This is what happens when I am half-awake, and I get an idea running through my head. I tend to get silly...and...well....witness the result:


-----------------------------------------

STARFLEET ACADEMY--INT--DAYTIME:
An assembly of cadets, commissioned officers, and the Admiralty of Starfleet celebrates the saving of Earth and the Federation. Before the Commandant of the Academy, James T. Kirk stands.

He has just received a medal for his actions, and is ordered to report to Admiral Pike and be his relief to assume command of the USS Enterprise.

Kirk stops just before Pike, who is seated in a wheelchair, no doubt a precautionary measure after his almost traumatic encounter with Nero.

KIRK: (standing at attention) I relieve you, sir.

PIKE: (smiling) I am relieved.

Pike extends a hand to the youngest captain ever to command a starship...

PIKE: Your father would be proud.

Kirk shakes Pike's hand, and then turns to receive the applause and adoration of his peers, and his new subordinates.

U.S.S. ENTERPRISE--INT. BRIDGE:

Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura give reports to the incoming Kirk, who has just now stepped onto the bridge, proudly wearing the uniform of a Starfleet Captain. He acknowleges the reports with a smile.

Kirk: Bones....(he moves to Dr. McCoy, and claps his friend on the shoulder) buckle up.

McCoy gives a disbelieving smile as his friend passes him by to get to the command seat.

SPOCK enters the bridge from the portside turboshaft.

SPOCK: Jim.

KIRK: (smiling) Spock?

SPOCK: (a little more urgently) Jim.

KIRK: (continuing to smile, but a little less so) Yes, that's my name, please don't wear it out....

SPOCK: (much more urgent) Jim!

KIRK rises up in his seat, clearly furious at Spock's inability to continue...


STARFLEET ACADEMY DORMS--INT. Daybreak--

KIRK shoots up into a sitting position in his bed, clearly having been disturbed from a good night's sleep, and a rather nice dream....

KIRK: WWHHAAAAAAAATTTTT???!!!!! (Kirk then looks up at the man standing before his bunk, and comes to a slow realization.) You're not Spock.

Standing before Kirk is McCoy, who looks rather stunned at Kirk's jarred and confused awakening.

McCOY: Nice dream, Jim?

KIRK gives a contemptible smirk and grin.

McCOY: Jim, we have to get going.

KIRK: (befuddled) Going....where?

McCOY: (whistles in disbelief) Wow...that must've been a really good dream. (he stands Kirk up, and then throws him his cadet uniform top) C'mon, we have to get to the Academy Board Inquiry.

KIRK looks down at his cadet uniform with incredulity. He responds as if something is amiss.

KIRK: What is this? (He looks at McCoy almost with accusation).

McCOY: Your uniform, Jim.

KIRK: (dazed) But, this isn't right.

McCOY: Dammit, Jim, I'm a medical cadet, not a philosopher. I don't know what's gotten into you, but you'd better hurry...you're the star attraction at today's circus, and I don't think the crowd is the kind that likes to be kept waiting.

Reluctantly, Kirk puts on his misgiven uniform top. From off screen, a cadet miniskirt is thrown at him.

KIRK: (pulls the miniskirt off his face in indignation and confusion) What the hell?!

McCOY: Ummm....yeah....you might wanna return that to the cadet you were "studying" with last night.

KIRK breathes a sigh of relief....

KIRK: Well, at least that much reality has asserted itself.

STARFLEET ACADEMY GROUNDS--EXT. EARLY MORNING

KIRK and McCoy move briskly to the Assembly Hall. They pass up Cadet Uhura, who is also making her way to the hall.

UHURA: You really screwed up, Captain.

KIRK looks back in astonishment at Uhura, and then back at Bones, shaking his head.

KIRK: Well, it definitely wasn't her.

McCOY: Her who?

KIRK: The cadet I was "studying" with last night.

McCOY shakes his head in disbelief.

STARFLEET ACADEMY ASSEMBLY HALL--INT. EARLY MORNING

COMMANDANT: This assembly has been called to address a most disturbing issue. James T. Kirk, will you step forward please.

KIRK looks at McCoy in disbelief and fatalistic recognition, and then steps down to the podium on the starboard side of the floor.

COMMANDANT: Cadet Kirk, you are accused of altering a major Starfleet test to produce an outcome that quite frankly never should've happened. In academic vernacular, you cheated. Do you have anything to say for yourself before judgment is passed?

KIRK: (again, with that fatalistic recognition...a sense of Deja Vu) I--believe I have the right to face my accuser directly--, sir.

The Commandant nods to another figure among the assembled cadets...this one, clearly a commissioned officer of Vulcan descent.

COMMANDANT: Cadet Kirk, this is Commander Spock, one of our most distinguished graduates, and the man who has programmed the Kobayashi Maru scenario for the last four years. Commander?

SPOCK stops right before Kirk, looking cold and emotionless. Kirk eyeballs Spock in the same disbelief he seems to have been burdened with all morning.

KIRK: Spock?

SPOCK: (raises an eyebrow) That's Commander Spock, or sir, to you, Cadet.

KIRK: (beat) Sir?

SPOCK: You ruined my test.

SPOCK then raises a phaser to Kirk's head.

KIRK: (staggering back) What the he--?!!!

SPOCK fires--


INT. CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS, U.S.S. ENTERPRISE--APPARENTLY MORNING

KIRK falls out of his bunk onto the floor and scrambles to his feet, looking around at his surroundings. After his confusion fades away, he comes to the realization that THIS is the proper reality. Did he just have a dream within a dream?

He picks up his Captain's tunic, feels it and tosses it around in his hands. It seems to feel real enough to him.


U.S.S. ENTERPRISE CORRIDOR--INT:
COMMANDER SPOCK is walking from the opposite end of the corridor, and notices Jim leaving his quarters.

SPOCK: Good morning, Captain.

KIRK: (looking rather relieved) 'morning, Spock. (He then visually appraises his new first officer) Ya know, you've got a real mean streak to you, my friend. (He then claps Spock on the shoulder and walks to the bridge.)

SPOCK merely looks back at his captain, with the quizzical raised eyebrow.

-------------------

Like I said....horrible.
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Old 01-11-2010, 02:58 PM
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Actually, that's pretty funny !!!
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Old 01-11-2010, 03:01 PM
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Thanks, One Buck.
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Old 01-11-2010, 03:20 PM
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That's not silly, it's actually very entertaining. Good job! I don't know why it is, but somehow it seems to be that it's when people are tired, that creativity is often it's best.
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Old 01-11-2010, 06:39 PM
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Originally Posted by SouthernSpockette View Post
That's not silly, it's actually very entertaining. Good job! I don't know why it is, but somehow it seems to be that it's when people are tired, that creativity is often it's best.

Most kind, Spockette, thank you.

A funny thing twixt the muse and the slumber.
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Old 01-12-2010, 12:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by martok2112 View Post
Hey, folks,

I'd already sent this to Saquist to get his reaction on it. This is what happens when I am half-awake, and I get an idea running through my head. I tend to get silly...and...well....witness the result:


-----------------------------------------

STARFLEET ACADEMY--INT--DAYTIME:
An assembly of cadets, commissioned officers, and the Admiralty of Starfleet celebrates the saving of Earth and the Federation. Before the Commandant of the Academy, James T. Kirk stands.

He has just received a medal for his actions, and is ordered to report to Admiral Pike and be his relief to assume command of the USS Enterprise.

Kirk stops just before Pike, who is seated in a wheelchair, no doubt a precautionary measure after his almost traumatic encounter with Nero.

KIRK: (standing at attention) I relieve you, sir.

PIKE: (smiling) I am relieved.

Pike extends a hand to the youngest captain ever to command a starship...

PIKE: Your father would be proud.

Kirk shakes Pike's hand, and then turns to receive the applause and adoration of his peers, and his new subordinates.

U.S.S. ENTERPRISE--INT. BRIDGE:

Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura give reports to the incoming Kirk, who has just now stepped onto the bridge, proudly wearing the uniform of a Starfleet Captain. He acknowleges the reports with a smile.

Kirk: Bones....(he moves to Dr. McCoy, and claps his friend on the shoulder) buckle up.

McCoy gives a disbelieving smile as his friend passes him by to get to the command seat.

SPOCK enters the bridge from the portside turboshaft.

SPOCK: Jim.

KIRK: (smiling) Spock?

SPOCK: (a little more urgently) Jim.

KIRK: (continuing to smile, but a little less so) Yes, that's my name, please don't wear it out....

SPOCK: (much more urgent) Jim!

KIRK rises up in his seat, clearly furious at Spock's inability to continue...


STARFLEET ACADEMY DORMS--INT. Daybreak--

KIRK shoots up into a sitting position in his bed, clearly having been disturbed from a good night's sleep, and a rather nice dream....

KIRK: WWHHAAAAAAAATTTTT???!!!!! (Kirk then looks up at the man standing before his bunk, and comes to a slow realization.) You're not Spock.

Standing before Kirk is McCoy, who looks rather stunned at Kirk's jarred and confused awakening.

McCOY: Nice dream, Jim?

KIRK gives a contemptible smirk and grin.

McCOY: Jim, we have to get going.

KIRK: (befuddled) Going....where?

McCOY: (whistles in disbelief) Wow...that must've been a really good dream. (he stands Kirk up, and then throws him his cadet uniform top) C'mon, we have to get to the Academy Board Inquiry.

KIRK looks down at his cadet uniform with incredulity. He responds as if something is amiss.

KIRK: What is this? (He looks at McCoy almost with accusation).

McCOY: Your uniform, Jim.

KIRK: (dazed) But, this isn't right.

McCOY: Dammit, Jim, I'm a medical cadet, not a philosopher. I don't know what's gotten into you, but you'd better hurry...you're the star attraction at today's circus, and I don't think the crowd is the kind that likes to be kept waiting.

Reluctantly, Kirk puts on his misgiven uniform top. From off screen, a cadet miniskirt is thrown at him.

KIRK: (pulls the miniskirt off his face in indignation and confusion) What the hell?!

McCOY: Ummm....yeah....you might wanna return that to the cadet you were "studying" with last night.

KIRK breathes a sigh of relief....

KIRK: Well, at least that much reality has asserted itself.

STARFLEET ACADEMY GROUNDS--EXT. EARLY MORNING

KIRK and McCoy move briskly to the Assembly Hall. They pass up Cadet Uhura, who is also making her way to the hall.

UHURA: You really screwed up, Captain.

KIRK looks back in astonishment at Uhura, and then back at Bones, shaking his head.

KIRK: Well, it definitely wasn't her.

McCOY: Her who?

KIRK: The cadet I was "studying" with last night.

McCOY shakes his head in disbelief.

STARFLEET ACADEMY ASSEMBLY HALL--INT. EARLY MORNING

COMMANDANT: This assembly has been called to address a most disturbing issue. James T. Kirk, will you step forward please.

KIRK looks at McCoy in disbelief and fatalistic recognition, and then steps down to the podium on the starboard side of the floor.

COMMANDANT: Cadet Kirk, you are accused of altering a major Starfleet test to produce an outcome that quite frankly never should've happened. In academic vernacular, you cheated. Do you have anything to say for yourself before judgment is passed?

KIRK: (again, with that fatalistic recognition...a sense of Deja Vu) I--believe I have the right to face my accuser directly--, sir.

The Commandant nods to another figure among the assembled cadets...this one, clearly a commissioned officer of Vulcan descent.

COMMANDANT: Cadet Kirk, this is Commander Spock, one of our most distinguished graduates, and the man who has programmed the Kobayashi Maru scenario for the last four years. Commander?

SPOCK stops right before Kirk, looking cold and emotionless. Kirk eyeballs Spock in the same disbelief he seems to have been burdened with all morning.

KIRK: Spock?

SPOCK: (raises an eyebrow) That's Commander Spock, or sir, to you, Cadet.

KIRK: (beat) Sir?

SPOCK: You ruined my test.

SPOCK then raises a phaser to Kirk's head.

KIRK: (staggering back) What the he--?!!!

SPOCK fires--


INT. CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS, U.S.S. ENTERPRISE--APPARENTLY MORNING

KIRK falls out of his bunk onto the floor and scrambles to his feet, looking around at his surroundings. After his confusion fades away, he comes to the realization that THIS is the proper reality. Did he just have a dream within a dream?

He picks up his Captain's tunic, feels it and tosses it around in his hands. It seems to feel real enough to him.


U.S.S. ENTERPRISE CORRIDOR--INT:
COMMANDER SPOCK is walking from the opposite end of the corridor, and notices Jim leaving his quarters.

SPOCK: Good morning, Captain.

KIRK: (looking rather relieved) 'morning, Spock. (He then visually appraises his new first officer) Ya know, you've got a real mean streak to you, my friend. (He then claps Spock on the shoulder and walks to the bridge.)

SPOCK merely looks back at his captain, with the quizzical raised eyebrow.

-------------------

Like I said....horrible.



I'm sorry Martok, you know i'm a joker and I just loooove using that emoticon. I LOVE IT!
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Last edited by TNG_Trekman : 01-12-2010 at 12:15 AM.
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Old 01-12-2010, 01:39 AM
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martok2112 martok2112 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TNG_Trekman View Post



I'm sorry Martok, you know i'm a joker and I just loooove using that emoticon. I LOVE IT!
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Old 01-12-2010, 03:27 AM
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Saquist Saquist is offline
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You should really consider a career in writing martok.
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Old 01-12-2010, 03:31 AM
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Thank you, my friend. Alas, I am not so well trained.
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Old 01-12-2010, 04:26 AM
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Saquist Saquist is offline
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You could be...
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