[vuedoc]

...I know I'm not the only funny person here:



A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, 'What are you doing?'

She answers, 'I'm moving to New York I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 a night for doing what I do for you for free.'

A little later, on her way out, the wife walks past the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.

When she asks him where he is going, he replies,
"I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year."

[jtrek79]

a full naked woman enters a bar,she aproaches the barman and orders a glass of scotch,while the barman is looking at her,she speaks to him with a high tone,whats the matter,never saw a naked woman before?,and he replies:no its not that i am just figuring out how u intend to pay me!

[MonsieurHood]

Originally Posted by jtrek79

a full naked woman enters a bar,she aproaches the barman and orders a glass of scotch,while the barman is looking at her,she speaks to him with a high tone,whats the matter,never saw a naked woman before?,and he replies:no its not that i am just figuring out how u intend to pay me!

Business is, after all, business.

A dog, a blonde, an Irishman, and the Pope walk into a bar, and the Bartender says: "What is this, some kind of joke?"

A policeman on patrol sees a car ahead of him swerving in and out of all four lanes. He pulls up next to the car and to his amazment sees an elderly woman at the wheel knitting. The Officer yells at her "Pull Over!" and the woman yells back "No, it's a scarf!"

A policemen pulls over a man who ran a stop sign. He asks the man for his license and registration and asks him "Are you aware that you just ran a stop sign?" The man answers "I slowed down, what's the difference?" The cop takes out his billy club and commences to beat the man repeatedly about the head with it and says "Do you want me to slow down, or stop?"

[FranCat]

A man walks into A bar, orders A drink, and when the bartender brings it, he asks "What's with the jar of money on the Bar?" The bartender says "Oh, that's the pot for our contest." "What's the contest?" asks the man.

Bartender leans over and asks the man if he sees a horse tending bar at the other end. "Yeah, I see him." says the man. "Well, if you can make that horse laugh, the money's yours." says the barkeep.The man walks over to the horse and whispers something in his ear, and the horse falls to the floor, rolling with laughter. the man walks back, downs his drink, grabs the jar, and walks out.

Two weeks later, the man comes back to the bar, and sees another big jar of money sitting on the counter. "What's the contest this time?" he asks. Barkeep says "This time you gotta make him cry." The man walks down to the end of the bar, says "Come out back with me." and the horse follows him outside. one minute later, they walk back in, and that horse is bawling his eyes out. The barkeep says"Money's yours, pal, but how did you do it?"

The man tells the barkeep "The first time I told him I was bigger than he was; this time I showed him."


What do you think of that one, guys and gals??

[Jed Starkiller]

I've heard that one before its funny though.