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  #71  
Old 06-04-2008, 04:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Livingston View Post
This just in!!! Stoned Trek: Hash and the City!!! What's it mean??? A city on the edge of forever??? I don't think so!!! Better get my heels ready!!!
OOOOO!! Man, let me load up my bong!!!
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  #72  
Old 09-01-2008, 02:09 AM
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In times of days past, in the days of old laid a stash, Spock's Stash and it was a bash. Stoned Trek XI, The Search for Spock's Stash, a bold new adventure of pharmaceutical intrigue and mushrooms, dudes!
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  #73  
Old 09-15-2008, 01:59 AM
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STONED TREK XI: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK'S STASH, chapter 1!
Characters by the Stoned Godhead Zardoz, story by J.J. Livingston.

Romulan Senate: The whole senate stare at Nero, totally high!

Nero: ‘Come on guys, we’re talking power, unlimited power!’

Senator: ‘Yeah, you gave us that whole emperor spiel during the Shinzon ordeal.’

Nero: ‘I didn’t know he’d be such a buzz-kill!’

Senator: ‘Our cannabis reactors are nearly depleted, we need weed! We’re lucky they even still function after Nemesis!’

Nero: ‘And you shall have it! What If I told you a whole sea of weed flowed in days of times past?’

Senator: ‘Speak Romulan man, we’re not hobbits!’

Nero: ‘Spock! Spock of Vulcan I say to you held a vast stash.’

Senator: ‘Held?’

Nero: ‘Yes, held, in the 23rd Century! I’m speaking of Spock’s Stash!’

Senator: ‘It doesn’t exist! Many have searched, all have perished!’

Nero: ‘Do you know what Spock’s stash is?’

Senator: ‘A radio for speaking to God?’

Nero: ‘No, to Andorians! It’s a radio of Andorian seasoned weed, weed as far as the eye can see and it’s within our grasp!’

Senator: ‘How long will this weed fuel our reactors?’

Nero: ‘Five days.’

Senator: ‘By God man! Then let’s start cracking! How do we get there, sling shot around the sun, Guardian of Forever, Temporal rift?’

Nero: ‘No, we just click our heels together three times and say, “there’s no place like the 23rd century.”

Senator: ‘Okay, Nero, but I warn you, three words! Shinzon, Nemesis, Buzzkill!’

Nero: ‘I swear to you by Grabthar’s Hashish it’s liget and really good s&*t!’

Senator: ‘So be it Nero, son of Caligula, it shall be!’

Nero: ‘Cool man, let’s dig some time travel!’

Senator: ‘Our weed reactors will know power that has not been wielded since the first age!’

Nero: ‘Oh, we also gotta all have cool looking tattoo’s on our faces.’

Senator: ‘Well, that kinda sucks. But no sweat, let’s time travel dude!’

The whole Romulan Senate click their heals together three times and say, ‘There’s no place like the 23rd Century.’

CUT TO!

Iowa, nice big farm dudes! James Kirk crusin’ the highway in his sweet corvette ride. Theme from Happy Days plays.

Kirk: “I’m Captain Kirk. I’m Captain J.T. Kirk, who are you? I have a starship, what’s your ride? You wanna ride in my rocket?”

Cut To!

The USS Doperprise D baby! Flyin’ high as a kite! Picard instructs Riker in the proper use of a Sheliak water bong as Data and Mr. Tribble share Worf’s Klingon peace pipe.

Picard: ‘You gotta go easy on the Sheliak No. 2, they buzzkill everything if you give them the chance. Article 2, section D of their water bong manual allows for total pharmaceutical absortion of their stash. Watch and learn.’

Picard takes massive hit and starts screaming in French.

Riker: ‘You cool, sir?’

Picard: ‘Totally cool dude. Totally cool.’

Data starts to fidget with his console frantically.

Picard: ‘What’s up Dat?’

Data: ‘We got something far out goin’ on in Romulan space.’

Picard: ‘They didn’t clone my swerve again, did they?’

Data: ‘No sir, they’re gone. Back in time!’

Cut To:

Kirk driving his sweet Corvette ride down a highway in Iowa. Suddenly someone appears in the road before him. He swerves, nearly hitting the dude. Kirk gets out of his car and rushes to the man.

The man’s old Spock, dudes!

Kirk: “You okay, old dude?”

Spock: “Yeah, where am I?”

Kirk: “Iowa, man, this is hawkeye territory dude!’

Spock looks at the young man carefully.

Spock: ‘Why you’re him! You’re-’

Kirk: ‘Tiberius, dude! Tiberius Kirk!’

Spock: ‘Tiberius?’

Kirk: ‘You got it man, you’re cool, you need a lift?’

Spock: ‘Where you going?’

Kirk: “Just headin’ to Des Moines to pick up some power converters!”

Spock: “Well, I got a stash, young dude, let’s find young me and I’ll lead you to it.

Kirk: “Cool dude! Ride in my rocket man! Let’s hit Des Moines and-”

Old Spock grabs young Kirk dramatically.

Spock: “We gotta go further than that dude! We gotta go to San Francisco!“

The two jump into the sweet Corvette ride and peel out towards San Francisco baby!

Next week check out the second exciting installment of Stoned Trek XI, right after Fringe and Tribble Heat dudes!
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  #74  
Old 09-15-2008, 06:44 AM
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Alright! We have returned to the Final Frontier!
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  #75  
Old 09-16-2008, 04:07 AM
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Rocking Dude!! Here, let's light up and celebrate!
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  #76  
Old 09-16-2008, 08:16 PM
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Argh! I just tried very hard to write a chapter, but nothing happened. I guess I need to celebrate a little more.
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  #77  
Old 09-16-2008, 11:10 PM
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Well, when in doubt, always look back to the pilot!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpzMZRWLgV8
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  #78  
Old 09-17-2008, 03:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Livingston View Post
Well, when in doubt, always look back to the pilot!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpzMZRWLgV8
Well wasn't the pilot where Mr. Tribble got introduced?
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  #79  
Old 09-22-2008, 10:54 PM
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Good stuff!! hehe.

-------------------------------
edit: ooh i made a pun and didn't even realise!
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  #80  
Old 09-23-2008, 02:23 AM
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It is!!!
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