Sorry, I misunderstood you there. T'Pol was indeed quite arrogant about the whole veggie thing and personally I don't like it. I am a veggie myself and proselytizing-wise the worst I do is the stuff I just did, lay out the general reasons for it. But I would never approach the topic on a personal level ("you evil, evil carnivore").
Back to ENT, I can see where you are coming from about how the human-Vulcan conflicts felt forced and I couldn't stand Archer for a long time, he just appeared to be a total idiot to me.
But when you see First Flight you can empathize with guys like Archer. It is not a playful thing like with McCoy and Spock, it is serious, the life work of Archer's father is delayed by these guys.
And while talking about parental stuff, is the role of the Vulcans not similar to that of parents? Humankind got its sh*t together because they were embarrassed by the alien gaze. Yet when humankind has evolved culturally as quickly as never before and wants to continue to do so in deep space the very folks who have initially beena catalyst of this process now become an obstacle.
So they are like parents, they helped humans to mature but now the child has reached pubescence and the separation process will be a little bit ugly.
If we keep this entire fictional history between the two species in mind characters like Archer who seem to be over the top make more sense.
Despite being a big fan of ENT I believe that this very pattern, i.e. making only sense in hindsight and after some thought, is a key weakness of the series. Or is it, should characters be immediately transparent? I never got that McCoy and Spock are actually friends before I had seen Amok Time.
About Carbon Creek, it is kinda fun but we do not really learn anything new about Vulcans so it is not a must-have-seen episode. It starts off the whole character arc about T'Pol becoming more emotional/human but it is totally natural that being the only Vulcan who lives among humans changes you so I fail to see why this has to be rationalized via a stupid story about her grandmother or the drub abuse stuff in S3. Why force something which is natural anyway?