[samwiseb]

I would casually greet Nero in only the politest, most informal manor... and then inform him that I know somebody who has the answer to 'all' his problems (time travel, exploding stars, saving his gorgeously-pregnant wife, you name it). I would mention that said individual has a peculiar fetish for Romulan boots.

Then I would give him (Nero) only the most detailed breakdown of human sexual anatomy, and ask him to kindly reward said individual for his (presumed) cooperation. I would tell him to be as creative as possible -but gentle too!- with his Romulan boots.

Romulan boots!! Romulan boots!! Romulan boots!!

(am I getting in the spirit of it yet?)

[EDIT: The song 'Ballroom Blitz' popped into my head as I was writing the above, and now I can't get it out. I leave it to better people to decide whether this means anything]