No, that's not solely you, I also perceive it to be to a large extend a matter of times.
Kirk uses woman for personal or professional gains (I remember Conscience of the King and By Any Other Name as examples for the latter) in both versions. The feminists might lynch me but I don't consider this to be a problem. He is horny, playful and he doesn't do anything nasty except for sometimes playing with their feelings and for not being the most professional Starfleet captain.
Kirk is horny, McCoy is cranky but they are good folks and definitely preferable to some decaffeinated guy who doesn't annoy his fellows with such traits but doesn't have any guts or principles either. Just think about what kind of doctor you'd like, somebody who treats you with velvet gloves but doesn't really give a sh*t or someone like McCoy who is angry with you when you don't care about your health or don't do what he says.
About McCoy, isn't it interesting that this kind of pain is something he has to forget or get over whereas the pain from TFF is a pain that drives him? To stay with TFF, isn't there also a difference between Spock hearing his father pejoratively speaking at his birth about his humanness which drilled itself right into his heart and the same message uttered when he is a young man? In the former case humanness becomes something integral to him which he has to struggle with from the beginning on whereas in the latter he reacts like any adolescent, with anger.
I like the idea that they are still growing up but I have my doubts as to how far these issues are just a matter of adolescence.